Normally, Jack didn't like entertaining random children, but he was in a chatty mood today, the kind where he felt like he could talk someone's head off. He stopped right in his tracks and placed a hand on his shoulder, smiling, but in a way that looked condescending.

"See, kiddo... that's not my fault. That's your fault. I'm feeling generous today, so I'm going to give you a life lesson and I hope it's one you remember because it's important. There are two kinds of people in the world -- people who run others over and people who get run over. You see what I mean here? I, Handsome Jack, almost ran you over. Why? Because I take over spaces. And do you know what happens when I assert myself like that? I just got here, and I already have a totally sweet business deal. I didn't even have to stay with the small kid they wanted me to room with. S'crazy." He laughed. "Remember that. Maybe you'll turn out great. Not as great as me, but better than the other guys here for sure."