While it's true that Devin might think better of sharing all of this at once under better circumstances, this is nevertheless a mark of trust. The Fool has only ever been careful with him, respecting his boundaries and being far more patient than Devin thought anyone ever would. They wouldn't even be able to have this conversation in the first place were it not for how the Fool has treated him - Devin would not have had the courage for it.

He's not sure if he has the courage now to extend a hand across this divide. It's not that he doesn't want. Quite to the contrary, he fears that want is all he is capable of and having that affirmed would ruin him. It would prove Bobby was right. Of course, he'll never know if his heart is still open if he never tries. He does not fear death and he does not fear physical pain, but his very survival has relied upon hiding his true feelings for far too long.

A flicker of shame can be found in Devin's eyes. Will this be the last chance he gets? It would be cruel to ask the Fool to wait for him too long.

"But you did ask," Devin says raggedly, "and you are here. And that-- matters." His voice shakes with emotions he has never learned to master, only stifle. "A house cannot be built on pillars of sand, and sand is all that I would be."

He looks away, head hanging. "Perhaps it's all I ever can be. I won't mislead you by claiming otherwise."