For all that the Fool said he wanted nothing that Devin wasn't prepared to give (and Devin is willing to believe him), it would be cruel to hedge around the subject any longer, especially alone like this. The Fool deserves honesty.
"Please," he says with a small nod.
Hesitation again. This is uncharted territory.
"I've been thinking a great deal about what you said." They probably both have; Devin is grateful that the turmoil of recent events let up enough to actually give him space for it. He stares anywhere but at the Fool, most often at the floor. "You were right that-- I shouldn't take the choice away from you."
It's not the first time he's been told that, both here and in his home world. Perhaps it's been said enough times in recent memory that it's beginning to sink in, although Devin still thinks it has a certain amount of logic to it. He cannot let go of habits so ingrained that quickly.
Devin sighs. "I've spent most of my life doing exactly that, giving people reason to dislike me so they wouldn't become targets." He sounds regretful. It usually works when he isn't stationary for long periods. Every time he has been, he finds it harder and harder to be cruel to people as he gets to know them better. And the death of strangers weighed on him heavily, too. He will never be able to protect everyone. "But it's well past the point where I can try to use that as an excuse with you." Devin pauses once more, the volume of his voice dropping. "I can't pretend you don't-- matter as much as you do."
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"Please," he says with a small nod.
Hesitation again. This is uncharted territory.
"I've been thinking a great deal about what you said." They probably both have; Devin is grateful that the turmoil of recent events let up enough to actually give him space for it. He stares anywhere but at the Fool, most often at the floor. "You were right that-- I shouldn't take the choice away from you."
It's not the first time he's been told that, both here and in his home world. Perhaps it's been said enough times in recent memory that it's beginning to sink in, although Devin still thinks it has a certain amount of logic to it. He cannot let go of habits so ingrained that quickly.
Devin sighs. "I've spent most of my life doing exactly that, giving people reason to dislike me so they wouldn't become targets." He sounds regretful. It usually works when he isn't stationary for long periods. Every time he has been, he finds it harder and harder to be cruel to people as he gets to know them better. And the death of strangers weighed on him heavily, too. He will never be able to protect everyone. "But it's well past the point where I can try to use that as an excuse with you." Devin pauses once more, the volume of his voice dropping. "I can't pretend you don't-- matter as much as you do."