Gene nods, his heart breaking for her just a little. He knows what it is, to have people you love ripped away from you, and every little thing that could possibly be a reminder is like stepping on broken glass when you have to confront the knowledge that they're gone the second after.

"I had a talk with Valdis about it," he says. "I didn't want to bother you. I'm just having a hard time accepting Tolui. I feel like I'm backsliding since my Shadow test. I'm not sure what to do."