what's that mysterious ticking noise? | April Catch-All

[highprofilerichkid]

Characters: Tony Stark and YOU
Date: Throughout April
Location: Around Tony's apartment and workshop; the Opara Core
Situation: Minor annoyances and major annoyances. Tony dealing with that absolutely appalling magical foghorn noise.
Warnings/Rating: none yet



1. how much money do you have? sixty nine cents | a farmer's market | early April

After finishing a major project for a client and pocketing a nice chunk of cash, Tony decides to take the rest of the day off and reward himself with lunch from a nearby farmer's market.

But when he puts in his order at the noodle stand and reaches for his money... he comes up with what appears to be slightly crumbled dog biscuits instead.

Tony stares at the handful of Definitely Not Money for a few seconds, processing. Apparently, the Dreaming has a sense of humor.

"I really, really hate magic," he declares, and dejectedly cancels his noodle order.


2. look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! | outside Tony & Gene's apartment | early April

According to one of Tony's neighbors, one of their other neighbors had been illegally breeding... ferocious attack bibirus. Which explains the Sentry activity the other day, and the sudden disappearance of said neighbor.

It also probably explains the stray bibiru that's been running around the block all day, persistently eluding capture by peeping angrily and nipping at the ankles of anyone who gets too close. That hadn't bothered Tony: he's not much of an animal person, and he'd figured it would eventually calm down enough to be nabbed, or run off and make a new life for itself in some local park.

It seems, however, that the bibiru is much more interested in making a new life for itself in Tony's apartment. It's taken a liking to him (who knows why), and has followed him all the way to his doorstep, trying to affectionately nibble his pant cuffs. He crouches down to shoo it away, and the damn thing chirps and hops right into his lap.

"What? No, scram!" Tony says, flapping his hands at the bunny-thing. The bibiru fluffs its wings and blinks at him.

Tony grimaces, picks the creature up, and stands. "Look, buddy, I don't really do pets. Why don't you go find someone else to bother?" The bibiru chirps again.

He holds the bibiru out at arms' length and looks around helplessly. Surely there's a pet-crazy kid or animal lover around here somewhere, right? "Hey, anybody want a weird little bird rabbit?"


3. Let It Grow, Let It Grow | Tony's workshop | early April

Tony feeds a mysterious power crystal to his mysterious metal tree. What will happen? Who knows! Details TBA


4. Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc | near Tony's workshop | April 10

Tony has been having an annoying couple days, and the last thing he needs is an unhinged wacko giving him grief over some imaginary theological offense. But, no, according to Acolyte Causation Not Correlation, here, Tony is personally responsible for setting off a new round of that horrible droning noise. By sneezing.

"Come on, cut it out!" Tony snaps, trying to cover his ears and shoo away the irate Ban Om devotee at the same time. No matter how fast he walks, the castian man scuttles after him, spitting religious rebukes. "Everybody's sneezing, it's just the pollen, you're— hey!" Is this guy seriously flicking holy water at him? "Stop it! You asshole," Tony seethes.


5. Peace And Quiet | Tony's workshop or the Opara Core | April 13

The noise from the ships is really getting to Tony. It hurts his Extremis-enhanced hearing, and seems to be interacting badly with the nanites, leaving him with lingering migraines and a feeling of general malaise. At least it's predictable – every twelve hours, like clockwork, increasing according to the Fibonacci sequence – but the fact that it is increasing is troubling. If the current pattern continues, the sound will be constant by the 16th.

Anyone looking for Tony in the second week of April is most likely to find him holed up in his lab looking vaguely miserable.

By the weekend, though, a couple of Opara techs who he's gotten friendly with take pity on him, and invite him to a nook in a little-used lab that seems to be shielded from the awful sound. They've even scavenged some plush chairs and turned it into an ad-hoc lounge space. Anyone else who has an in with an Opara employee might be able to get an invite to the secret lounge too... Where they'll find Tony, scribbling on scrap paper and chatting animatedly with the techs about structural insulation and shielding and resonance.


6. Sneeze Disease | Tony & Gene's apartment | during The Honkening | closed to Gene

Tony is getting migraines from the fucking Mystical Honk Fleet. Gene has horrible allergies thanks to the pollen. Both of them are low-key miserable and more inclined than usual to bitch at each other over petty bullshit.

And Tony "forgot" it was his turn to do the dishes. Again.

Comments

[highprofilerichkid]

"Huh?" Tony mumbles, from underneath the icepack he has draped over his face. He nudges it up enough to squint at Gene. "What's today? I thought it was your turn?"

It would probably be more accurate to say that he couldn't remember whose turn it was to do dishes and chose to assume it was Gene's turn so he wouldn't have to worry about it, but potato potahto, right?

[wrathfulkhan]

"It's Monday. Mondays are your turn to do dishes. You haven't done the dishes in three weeks."

Now, normally Gene wouldn't be crabby - aside from some good-natured exasperation - but the entire population of the Wiosen Botanical Gardens has decided to be fruitful and multiply in his sinuses, which has him a weensy bit ticked.

[highprofilerichkid]

"Okay, okay, jeez," Tony grumbles. "It's only—" he heaves his arm upwards with a probably excessive show of effort, and looks at his watch— "three o'clock. I'll get to them before dinner."

[wrathfulkhan]

"No," Gene says, gritting his teeth. "Do it now." Any potential impact that forcefulness may have is undercut by an attack of sneezing so severe that he doubles over and sinks to the ground.

"Aaaargh!"

[highprofilerichkid]

"Chill out," Tony replies, becoming more obviously irritated. "I said I'd do them, okay? I still have a headache from those stupid honk boats, and—" and then Gene starts sneezing so violently that it actually brings him to his knees.

Given what a bad mood Gene's in, it's probably not a good idea, but Tony can't help himself: he laughs.

jkjdflsklfj HONK BOATS that's it as a mod i decree it they just make airhorn noises

[wrathfulkhan]

"You're not--" Sneeze. "The only one--" Sneeze. "The 'stupid h--" Sneeze. "--honk boats'" Sneeze sneeze sneeze. Whatever Gene's about to say is lost in an absolute fit of sneezing, which only makes him madder when Tony starts laughing.

"You think this is funny, do you?" he says, getting to his feet and sniffling.

T H E H O N K E N I N G

[highprofilerichkid]

"It is pretty funny," Tony confesses.

Intellectually he knows that Gene is as miserable as he is, if not more. But Tony has never had allergies and it's been years since he's had anything as mundane as a case of the sniffles, so his sneeze empathy is a little rusty, and it's hard not to focus on the physical comedy of Gene's plight.

[wrathfulkhan]

This will not be tolerated!!! Gene will not tolerate this!!!

Gene sniffles as he walks over to Tony, leans over him, and then lets loose with the most dad-tier level sneeze he has in him. Like, just absolutely horrifying for someone with a migraine to hear. Just awful.

[highprofilerichkid]

Tony lets out a shout of disgust and fails on the couch, pulling a pillow over his face in a vain attempt to block some of the sneeze fallout.

"What the hell!" He pulls the pillow away and glares. "Gross, Gene!"

[wrathfulkhan]

"Do the dishes or I'll--" Sniff. "--keep sneezing on you."

Biological warfare? Damn, Gene, even for you, that's low. He's smirking, because he thinks he has the upper hand. Maybe he does. Either way, this is taking a lot more time than either of them doing the dishes.

[highprofilerichkid]

"Ugh!" Tony heaves himself off the couch. "Okay, fine, I'm going, I'm going. You don't have to be an asshole about it."

[wrathfulkhan]

"I'm the asshole?" Gene says indignantly, somehow managing not to undercut himself with a sneeze. (Gene, you have never not been the asshole in your life.) "Asking you to do a few chores now and then isn't a lot."

[highprofilerichkid]

"And I said I was gonna do it," Tony snipes, "in a minute." He flouces to the kitchen and starts passive-aggressively scrubbing. "You're not gonna die if the dishes don't get done for another hour."

He knows how petty and whiny he sounds, but he's too grumpy to care.

[wrathfulkhan]

"I might," Gene says, and punctuates his own whining with a sneeze. "You don't know that for sure." He knows that he sounds petty, whiny, and like a bit of a jerk, too, but the big ol' honks coming from the harbor and the constant tree sex happening outside and making him feel as physically useless as he's ever felt makes him really not care. And if there's one thing Gene hates, it's feeling useless. And helpless. The Mandarin would probably just sneeze his enemies into submission right now.

[highprofilerichkid]

Tony rolls his eyes. "Wow, hilarious. I didn't know you could die from terminal nagging."

A part of him knows that he's just needling Gene to get a rise out of him – it has less to do with Gene, and more to do with Tony taking out his misery on whoever happens to be convenient. He's just spoiling for a fight, and it might as well be with Gene.

[wrathfulkhan]

Unfortunately for whatever comeback Gene had been cooking up, another dad-tier sneeze bursts its way out of him and he falls back on the recently-vacated couch. "Aggh! I hate this!"

He reaches for a nearby box of tissues and makes some honking noises as well, but not nearly on the level that the ships have been doing. "I can't wait for this miserable season to be over!"

[highprofilerichkid]

Tony gives Gene a skeptical and unsympathetic look over his shoulder. "Can't you use the rings to summon magical benadryl or something?" Because, speaking of things getting on Tony's nerves, the constant sneezing is not improving his mood.

[wrathfulkhan]

"I've tried, I can't focus long enough to--" Sneeze. "It's intolerable!"

Gene closes his eyes and shakes his head to try and clear it. They're both miserable, and seem to be stuck in a feedback loop. "Maybe I'll just go back to bed..."

[highprofilerichkid]

Tony pauses his resentful dishwashing to turn fully back to Gene and stare at him. "You can lose your ultimate cosmic powers from allergies?"

There's a beat of incredulous silence, and then Tony starts to laugh again. "Too bad you're not allergic to llamas."

[wrathfulkhan]

Sneeze. "Screw you, Mr. Honking-Boats-Make-My-Suit-Not-Work." Great comeback, Gene. "You try and focus on doing anything when you're about to forcibly expel your brain through your sinuses!"

[highprofilerichkid]

"My suit works fine," Tony declares. (The fact that using Extremis during The Honk Cycles exacerbates his migraines tenfold and has so far mostly not been worth the trouble is neither here nor there.)

"If you do sneeze your brains out, can you not do it over the carpet? That would be a pain to clean, and I don't want to do any more chores today."