ioduanlogs | [EVENT] THE TIES THAT BIND US

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[EVENT] THE TIES THAT BIND US

Characters: Everyone!
Date: February 14-28
Location: All around Aifaran
Situation: The last two weeks of February celebrate Tine's Commemoration, a celebration of renewing friendships and signaling forgiveness.
Warnings/Rating: Shouldn't need any, but add to subject lines as needed!

During the last week of February, the mood shifts around the city. The tension over the missing Kin'nal girl eases some, and there's a lot of talk of renewal and remembrance. In the days leading up to the 14th, some shopkeepers begin reorganizing to make space to feature knotworks and related crafts, and photos on Xa Xa feature knots in process, some made by special artisans. If asked, they will say that all of this is in preparation for Tine's Commemoration, two weeks that are dedicated to renewing and recognizing friendships, forgiving past grievances, and recognizing our most important ties through an exchange of intricately tied knots.

There are specific knots and knot colors meant to signify different kinds of relationships. Friendship knots come in white and blue. White is for the bond of new friends, blue to recognize the joy of old friends. The blue knots typically are added together in a series, one made for each year of the friendship and tied to each other sequentially. More complicated knots are made when forgiving a grudge or past grievance, or to tell someone that they are considered family. While not a major focus of the exchange, there are also multi-colored knots for romantic relationships.

In recognition of this tradition's roots, there is also an ornate tassel knot made for those who have been lost. The color signifies if they have been lost to death (black, often laced with another color like blue for the sea) or the Dreaming (gray). Most have the person's name woven into them, either on a metal disc or a piece of fabric. Rather than being worn, these knots are hung by the door as a waysign: come home; your spirit may rest here.

Shops around the city sell these knots, but there are also ample opportunities to tie your own! The Tifaut in particular take this tradition to heart and have areas set up at several of the city's parks and civic centers, including one at the Dreaming Bridge. They teach knot-making and provide materials (with a suggested donation for those who can afford it), or you can bring your own cord! Making knots of recycled material, like old clothing or retired fishing rope, can add special meaning to the creation - some believe that doing so means sharing a part of yourself with the intended recipient.

Knots can be worn as jewelry or braided into hair (or sometimes hair itself gets tied, with one friend attending to the other's hairdo), and it's customary to keep them on your person throughout the month. While they can be given or exchanged all on their own, it isn't uncommon for knots to come with small gifts or trinkets as well. After February comes to a close, it's important to store the knots somewhere safe, often in a special box or bag with numerous pockets.

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OOC Notes: This is an open, game-wide event for your characters to participate in (or try and avoid, if they're that type) as much or little as they want to. New Dreamfolk are always popular integrations of these kinds of festivals in the city, so you can write yours attracting lots of positive attention if you'd like.

Provided below are some starters, but you can make your own too if none of these work for you!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Before he even reached her room, Devin could tell that someone was inside. There was the cat - apparently the Dreaming had seen fit to bring Anani back, too - and one person. It was probably Valdis, if he had to guess, but there was no guarantee. Anani did what he wanted.

The vampire paused in front of the door, hesitating briefly before he knocked. "Valdis?"

Valdis recognized the strange lack of normal soul energy before Devin even said her name. She didn't move, not sure if she was ready to interact with him one on one again. Their parting hadn't been either amicable or uncivil, but her hesitation lingered. Anani mewed loudly at the door, rubbing against it and looking at her expectantly. When she continued to hesitate, the cat reared up on his hind legs and batted at the door handle, putting his paws on the lever and pulling on it so the door opened.

Devin had not expected Anani to be the one that answered the door, and the fact that he did said something on it's own. It might have bothered him, if he hadn't come bearing more than just the symbolic knot.

He blinked down at the cat for a few seconds, then pushed the door open wider but remained on the threshold. She could slam the door in his face if she felt like it. "Your cat is alarmingly intelligent," Devin declared. "Though I'm not sure he got the memo about not wanting visitors."

Valdis stared at her cat in disbelief. The fact that he had figured out how to open the door explained how he kept getting out, but his intelligence had to be far more accidental than anything else, right?

"He was blessed by an archangel," she explained, "I'm sure the heightened intelligence must be a side effect."

She had no reason to send him away, or be hostile, but she wasn't entirely sure why he had seen fit to visit.

"Can I help you with something?"

Meanwhile, Anani was winding himself around the vampire's legs, purring madly.

"That could explain it," he agreed, perhaps using the remark as a way to stall.

Anani had evidently not forgotten him, and Devin gave the creature a blank look for the affection it was demonstrating. At least he was passingly familiar with the cat, unlike the bibiru Leo kept shoving in his face. (They are cute, but he'll never admit it aloud.)

"Not exactly." Devin shifted his weight over his feet uncomfortably, eventually reaching into his pocket to extract the dark red knot he'd tied a day or two earlier. He held it up between his fingers. "Apology accepted." A slow breath. "And I owe you an apology as well."

Valdis tipped her head, arching a brow almost in amusement, but not quite. His hesitation and apparent discomfort over the acceptance of her past apology made little sense. Unless of course it was more to do with recognizing that she hadn't been the only one at fault.

"You don't have to stand outside you know."

After all, this wasn't Joss Wedon's Buffy. She shifted over on the bed to make room for him to sit if he wanted, picking up the various colored cords and setting them aside. Anani seemed to take this as an invitation for him, so he darted over and jumped back up on the bed.

"I didn't want to presume I could waltz into your personal space," Devin responded, crossing the threshold and closing the door most of the way. "You already have roommates who do that."

As did he, although he tried not to be around them when he didn't have to. Devin lingered by the door for another moment or two before crossing the space. She didn't seem overly displeased with him, for which he was thankful.

"I hope the intent makes up for the lack of artistry," he added, a bit more wryly as he holds out the knot for her. It wasn't poorly-made by any stretch, but crafts weren't really his thing.

"Oh, please," Valdis rolled her eyes, "You aren't nearly as aggravating as the first roommate, and I'm pretty sure the second one is too intimidated to invade my personal space."

Besides, it wasn't like the two of them hadn't seen her naked. That might not have been her best move, though it had been amusing at the time. Anani reached up with a paw to bat at the knot, but Valdis put her hand on his head and he turned his attention to her instead, allowing her to gently take the knot from Devin.

"The intent is often more important than how beautiful something appears," she replied.

She'd seen it with parents especially, those who treasured gifts from their young children as if they were worth more than gold.

"Thank you."

He raised his eyebrows slightly. "I'm led to understand that respecting boundaries is a thing normal people do," Devin returned.

Controverting acceptable social behavior was something they both did intentionally, but at times like these it seemed pertinent to take a different tack.

It took some effort to hold her gaze, but he did it. "Most of my social skills are faked - I learned more by imitation than by any sort of instruction. Fit in or die, which I'm sure you're familiar with," he said, hooking his thumbs into his pockets. "It's what I fall back on when being me seems unsafe. I'm not saying it's right, just that it's what I know."

Valdis considered his words, more interested in the motivation behind them than the actual actions. He had a hard time keeping eye contact. Shame perhaps. Definitely discomfort at the least. She could appreciate the difficulty he was having, if only because it meant he was being truly genuine.

"You know for a fact that I'm familiar with that," She said, "But that's not what you're apologizing for, is it?"

It had a lot to do with discomfort, with emotional honesty being so difficult for him. That mattered less with her, but it was just a habit by now.

"It's the preamble," he replied with a touch wryness. It faded as Devin sighed. "What you said-- there's no way you could have known how things have changed for me, or that it would be worse now than it was the last time we saw each other. My anger was less with you than with the situation, and it wasn't fair of me to react the way I did. I shouldn't have pretended like I wasn't feeling what I did, either."

She had touched on a wound that had never really healed, that finally had a chance of closing forever and at the same time Bobby was ripping it open again.

"I'm an empath," Valdis replied, "Not a mind reader. I can only know what you are feeling, interpreting those feelings correctly is more difficult."

She sighed, disappointed in his apology, but perhaps it was the best he could do. Valdis could either reward his try, or reject it, the problem was that she didn't know which choice was the right one.

"Devin. It's not that you pretended you weren't feeling. It's not even that you were angry. It's that you looked me in the eyes, knowing exactly how much it would hurt, and lied."

He was bad at apologies (for any number of reasons, lack of experience being one of them), and good at disappointing people. It wouldn't surprise him to know she was one of them.

Making blunt what he'd been tip-toeing around didn't surprise him, either. Devin stifled the knee-jerk urge to snap at her, because that was what had gotten them into this mess in the first place. So, he took a breath, and another, and forced himself to not look away.

"I did," he acknowledged. "And for that, I am sorry. It wasn't my intent to hurt you, but that doesn't change that it did."

If anything, Valdis could accept that he was trying, and though her bluntness affected him, he didn't react as he could have. She sensed the effort behind it and broke eye contact so he wouldn't have to. Anani purred, shoving his head under hand so she would stroke him.

The problem with his apology was that she believed, though perhaps he didn't, that in the moment, he had meant to hurt her, even if it wasn't his intent in the long run. Again, she was back to either rewarding the try, or rejecting it. Getting to the heart of the matter, however, might be more important.

"I believe you," Valdis said finally, stroking her cat. "And I accept your apology, but I want you to remember that you don't have to hide."

Anani hopped onto her lap, demanding attention.

"Not from me at least."

Mind-reader or no, she'd gotten to the point he was trying to make, and had even been hesitating over whether to say or not. Hiding was the reason he had lied; it was entirely selfish and devoid of malignant intention, even in the moment. That didn't make it better, but it at least couldn't make it worse.

He exhaled slowly, and opted to take the spot Anani had vacated, though far enough away from Valdis to not crowd her. "I will remember that," Devin promised quietly. He trusted her more than he'd trusted anyone in a long time, and hoped that he could demonstrate that better through his actions than their last encounter would suggest. Saying it aloud was somehow infinitely more difficult.

The vampire leaned forward, fingers together as he stared at a spot on the floor. "Is it... normal to be terrified of something you want?"

Devin still seemed off somehow, like there was far more he wanted to say, but finding the words was difficult. Valdis supposed that he had spent so long hiding, he’d forgotten how to tell the truth. Perhaps he wasn’t even entirely certain what the truth was anymore. At least even in her lies, she had always recognized what the truth was to a certain extent, perhaps that had made it easier for her in the long run.

She didn’t look at him as he sat down in the space she had created for him, leaving him time to think and figure out what he needed to say. Hopefully he would remember as he promised, it would makes things better for the both of them.

“I think that would depend on what you want, what you’re afraid of, and what you’ve experienced in the past,” Valdis answered softly, “Though I’m going to take a wild guess and say you are speaking of trust. Is that correct?”

"That's part of it," he agreed. "And certainly in the grand scheme of the world, it's one of the more dangerous things to want or rely on, in my experience."

Trust got you killed; he had lived by that assertion. Devin could acknowledge, however, that it wasn't always true. There had been exceptions, especially during the two world wars.

"There isn't much that I truly fear," Devin continued after a moment. "And of those, I never thought that anything could exceed Bobby. The redhead." Keeping her name a secret didn't have much of a point. "But now there's something happening-- something most people would consider good, I suppose."

Devin closed his eyes. No need to hide, right? Valdis would understand better than most people what had him so unsettled. "He just sees me. And I have no idea what to do about it."

"Devin," Valdis replied, unable to make eye contact, "I'm not sure I'm the best one to ask about this."

Romantic Love wasn't really something she had much experience in, and it had ended in heartbreak the last time she had felt it.

"The only real relationship I've ever had...I didn't really know what it was at first. We bickered constantly. I'm pretty sure I tried to kill him at least once. But when he told me I was beautiful, it meant more than it ever had before. Because he wasn't talking about how I looked."

Anani reared up to brush his cheek against her chin, causing her to flinch, though she resumed petting him, which was clearly what he wanted.

"I don't think either of us really realized it at first. It wasn't sudden or passionate, but slow and soft. I'd been with other men before, I won't lie about that. But this...I hadn't felt anything like it before, ever. And I'm not sure I will again."

She turned to look at him, "I'm not sure if that helps or not, just as I'm not sure why you are so afraid of it. But when I was with him, I knew I could face anything. Even my worst enemy. If this man gives you that feeling, or any of the ones I've mentioned, then I'm not sure you need to be afraid."

That was not even remotely the reply he was expecting, though he wasn't being very direct about it either. It was intimately personal, and Devin turned his head to look at her as she spoke. He was, in a word, humbled. This didn't seem like a subject Valdis would share with just anyone.

A strained smile pulled faintly at his mouth. "The only relationship I've ever had was with a woman who turned out to be a demon and tried to cut my heart out, so I think you have a slightly better outlook than I do." He rested his head in his hands and took a shivery breath. "Bobby... made me feel something that wasn't real. She gave me the world and then stabbed me in the chest with it. Repeatedly." It might almost be funny if it hadn't been completely agonizing.

"So that... does help, some. I don't know what this is supposed to be like when it is real. I have no reference point." Another pause, and his voice was barely audible. "The fact that I can't tell the difference between what she did to me and him-- it's not him I'm afraid of trusting. It's me."

Valdis listened, not looking at him even when he looked at her, nor when he placed his head in his hands, trying to sort through what he was feeling. The amount of betrayal he must have felt when this Bobby turned on him...no wonder he had such a hard time trusting everyone, but to have his own confidence in his ability to judge destroyed in such a manner, to not be able to trust his own instincts. The fact that he was trying just showed how strong he was.

"As an empath, I can tell the difference between the truth and a lie, but even I couldn't identify what I was feeling at the time. Living without emotions for two thousand years leaves some confusion over certain ones I suppose." She sighed, "I wasn't there, so I can't know for sure, and as I said, I don't have much experience with it."

She hummed, continuing to pet her cat, who continued to purr, gazing at Devin through narrowed eyes.

"I guess the only thing you can do is figure out how this time is different. I know a thing or two about manipulating men, so I'm going to ask you: How did she make you feel? In what ways did she lure you in? How did she act and dress? What did she know about you beforehand? Did her perception of you ever change? Did you ever fight with her?"

Valdis looked over at him, knowing that going through his memories of Bobby would be painful, but he would need to face them eventually.

"You don't need to tell me the answers, but I want you to take those answers and compare them to the answers for him."

Edited 2018-02-27 04:32 (UTC)

Revisiting his time with Bobby was something Devin did not look forward to, but there were extenuating circumstances that meant he couldn't avoid it, either. Regardless of Sam, she was back. Examining their history would be painful no matter what. The list of question Valdis offered would be useful, but he was already concerned about any parallels he might find between Bobby and Sam. Whatever was happening between him and the doctor was also very new and very fragile.

"Thank you. I'll do that." Devin took a steadier breath. "This probably doesn't sound like it's related to what I did, but with Bobby showing up and Sam being Sam, what little certainty I had has quite literally gone up in flames. It scares the hell out of me," he admitted. "And hiding just seemed safer, if irrationally stupid and pointless."

Valdis arched a brow, regarding him with a new sense of curiosity, "For all your outward confidence, you really are quite insecure, aren't you."

In a way, it made sense. He hid everything behind a mask, even his insecurity and especially his fear. She could probably blame it all on his family, and then Bobby, for manipulating him in such a way. Just like her, he had probably never known love, but she had the added defense of her empathy, he couldn't have known that what he experienced hadn't been love.

"I suppose in hindsight I've been somewhat unfair to you." Valdis admitted, continuing to stroke Anani, "For starters, I presumably once had a family that loved me. I haven't hated myself for as long as you have. I lack the same fear you possess, because I've only ever fought for myself, and I haven't experienced betrayal as you have." Or at least, not that she remembered, "We may be alike in many ways, but our differences deserve attention too."

Yet Valdis hadn't known any of this before and learning it was a painful process, apparently for both of them. She understood why he pretended now. He had to hide all his insecurity in order to survive, something she had never needed to do.

"I suppose the problem with being so badly burned in the past, is that even a minor burn may hurt more than it otherwise would, especially if it is in a similar location." Valdis said gently, "So no, it's not stupid, even if it's unneeded."

Edited (typo) 2018-02-28 02:37 (UTC)

"And realization dawns," he joked wearily.

Devin had held back some knee-jerk responses to her observations, because while they made him uncomfortable to be spoken of so bluntly, she wasn't wrong. He did hate and he did fear. He pretended to be someone he was not because exposure could quite literally mean death. It had before, more than once. Too human to be a vampire, too much a vampire to ever be human, and with the fragment of the angel he carried, Devin stood apart from everyone and everything in his world.

To be so unique was to be utterly lonely. Maybe, though, it did not always have to be that way.

"And people wonder why I'm so averse to forming attachments," he sighed, raising his head. She'd argued with him about that before, and it probably wouldn't be the last time. "I think it's probably good that we're different. Two of me would be insufferable, wouldn't it."

"Perhaps if you actually communicated with people, instead of being a jerk and pushing them away, they'd be more understanding, and more willing to give you space when you need it."

She looked at him, one brow raised, almost as if evaluating. Having to deal with two vampire possessing self-confidence issues and a tendency to aggravate people probably would be a recipe for disaster. She only had so much patience to go around.

Anani mewed loudly, crawling out of Valdis' lap to shove his cheek against Devin's arm.

"Two of you would be aggravating, that is true," she mused, watching her cat demand attention from the vampire, " But emotional differences aside, I'm slightly better looking too," she teased.

"Ah, logic," Devin replied, as though the concept were a very quaint thing.

He glanced down at Anani; apparently the cat wanted his attention now, so he ran a hand along the creature's back. It was a weary acceptance of the fact that Anani seemed to have taken to him for reasons Devin didn't understand.

"I concede that particular battle," he allowed, mustering a strained smile. It faded after a moment, and he sighed. "Old habits die hard, and that's one of my oldest. I don't know how to be any other way yet."

[EVENT] THE TIES THAT BIND US

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