Temujin "Gene" Khan (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wrathfulkhan) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
ioduanlogs2018-06-09 11:04 am
wrathfulkhan) wrote in ioduanlogs2018-06-09 11:04 am
Was that a shark on the conveyor belt?
Characters: Gene Khan, Miles Upshur, Aly Haskell, and y'all
Date: throughout June
Location: Aifaran and environs
Situation: Junebugs be buggin'.
Warnings/Rating: Prompt A: Depression/grief and unhealthy coping mechanisms
[A] | Gene | outside Aifaran | June 14 | closed to Pepper
Gene is just...gone.
With Tony's disappearance, Gene did what he does best, which was disappear, too, and hide himself. Being alone was safe, and he'd been alone for a while before he came here. Why not be alone again? He's used to it. It's fine.
(It's not fine.)
He has no control over anything, and he knows that. For someone who desperately needs to control some element of his life, especially about his family, this is something that hits too close to home and makes him spiral.
The only option is to run, and not think. Don't think. Don't ever think. Don't ever think again. Grief can only strike if you think, and if you don't think, there's no grief.
He doesn't want to be here anymore. He doesn't want to be in Aifaran. He doesn't want to be on Earth. He doesn't want to be anywhere.
Being in this little abandoned shack, shielded and invisible, is close enough to not-being.
[B] | Miles | throughout Aifaran | early June | open
Miles is walking down the street with his headphones in, and he's in a surprisingly good mood. He's got the scent of a story in his nose, and that's cheered him up immensely. Sure, he's gonna be making another enemy, but he's glad to have the kind of determination that only a new story can fix.
He's in such a good mood, in fact, that he starts to sing to himself as he walks, which eventually turns into dancing, which eventually ends in a park. Some bemused locals clap, and when the song's over and he realizes he has an audience, he laughs a little and bows. He's blushing a little, but you can't be embarrassed if you have no shame. Own it, Miles, own it.
[C] | Miles | Verdant Sentry HQ | early June | closed to Valdis
Time to get involved with the cops. Miles does not like cops, and the feeling is quite frankly mutual. It takes a little bit of doing, and a little bit of the Sentry jerking him around (assholes), before he finally gets to talk to Valdis.
"Hi," he says, waving at her. "You free a minute? You better be, after all the shit I just got."
[D] | Aly | outside Aifaran | early June | open
There's an odd creature outside the city. Well - odder than the creatures already here. It's not native, to be sure. An Earth-native might recognize it as a maned wolf, but...hello, there's something different about it. It's got two spiraling gazelle horns coming out of its head.
And it's stalking some completely oblivious bibiru.
[E] | Aly | throughout Aifaran | throughout June | open
Aly's learned her lesson about parkour for now, ever since dropping straight into the drink. Doesn't mean she doesn't go up on the rooftops every so often, especially at night. She likes to lie down and see the stars. They're strange here, but no stranger than they are Otherside, on the rare times she's been able to see them. The bubble they're in shines like the aurora borealis sometimes, and that makes her eyes water (she's not crying).
[F] | Aly | throughout Aifaran | throughout June | open
At other times, Aly's trying to be normal. She's trying to calm her anger down, and sometimes it even works. It's frowned upon to walk around obviously armed, but some days she takes her copper-headed mace with her, its iron core a deterrent to any faeries. You never could tell around here. She never, ever leaves her belt and its pouch behind, though. The antler knife inside it hurts a little to be near, and hurts worse for her to hold, but she won't risk being without it. It's death and blood, but it's necessary. And she works on sharpening it from time to time; not to harm anyone here, but for what she needs to do when she returns.
If you want another starter, feel free to hit me up via PM or at![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
Chatvert!
Date: throughout June
Location: Aifaran and environs
Situation: Junebugs be buggin'.
Warnings/Rating: Prompt A: Depression/grief and unhealthy coping mechanisms
[A] | Gene | outside Aifaran | June 14 | closed to Pepper
Gene is just...gone.
With Tony's disappearance, Gene did what he does best, which was disappear, too, and hide himself. Being alone was safe, and he'd been alone for a while before he came here. Why not be alone again? He's used to it. It's fine.
(It's not fine.)
He has no control over anything, and he knows that. For someone who desperately needs to control some element of his life, especially about his family, this is something that hits too close to home and makes him spiral.
The only option is to run, and not think. Don't think. Don't ever think. Don't ever think again. Grief can only strike if you think, and if you don't think, there's no grief.
He doesn't want to be here anymore. He doesn't want to be in Aifaran. He doesn't want to be on Earth. He doesn't want to be anywhere.
Being in this little abandoned shack, shielded and invisible, is close enough to not-being.
[B] | Miles | throughout Aifaran | early June | open
Miles is walking down the street with his headphones in, and he's in a surprisingly good mood. He's got the scent of a story in his nose, and that's cheered him up immensely. Sure, he's gonna be making another enemy, but he's glad to have the kind of determination that only a new story can fix.
He's in such a good mood, in fact, that he starts to sing to himself as he walks, which eventually turns into dancing, which eventually ends in a park. Some bemused locals clap, and when the song's over and he realizes he has an audience, he laughs a little and bows. He's blushing a little, but you can't be embarrassed if you have no shame. Own it, Miles, own it.
[C] | Miles | Verdant Sentry HQ | early June | closed to Valdis
Time to get involved with the cops. Miles does not like cops, and the feeling is quite frankly mutual. It takes a little bit of doing, and a little bit of the Sentry jerking him around (assholes), before he finally gets to talk to Valdis.
"Hi," he says, waving at her. "You free a minute? You better be, after all the shit I just got."
[D] | Aly | outside Aifaran | early June | open
There's an odd creature outside the city. Well - odder than the creatures already here. It's not native, to be sure. An Earth-native might recognize it as a maned wolf, but...hello, there's something different about it. It's got two spiraling gazelle horns coming out of its head.
And it's stalking some completely oblivious bibiru.
[E] | Aly | throughout Aifaran | throughout June | open
Aly's learned her lesson about parkour for now, ever since dropping straight into the drink. Doesn't mean she doesn't go up on the rooftops every so often, especially at night. She likes to lie down and see the stars. They're strange here, but no stranger than they are Otherside, on the rare times she's been able to see them. The bubble they're in shines like the aurora borealis sometimes, and that makes her eyes water (she's not crying).
[F] | Aly | throughout Aifaran | throughout June | open
At other times, Aly's trying to be normal. She's trying to calm her anger down, and sometimes it even works. It's frowned upon to walk around obviously armed, but some days she takes her copper-headed mace with her, its iron core a deterrent to any faeries. You never could tell around here. She never, ever leaves her belt and its pouch behind, though. The antler knife inside it hurts a little to be near, and hurts worse for her to hold, but she won't risk being without it. It's death and blood, but it's necessary. And she works on sharpening it from time to time; not to harm anyone here, but for what she needs to do when she returns.
If you want another starter, feel free to hit me up via PM or at
A
Finding him is not going to be easy, but that does not deter her. He'd go someplace quiet, somewhere he could withdraw from everyone and everything, she thinks. Nowhere they've visited before - not the turtle's head, even with the peace it offers. She takes to the air and circles the city, looking for any sign of her friend. Eventually, she finds a hill that has a good view of much of the city and surrounding area, and pulls out her dueling gauntlet. Pepper will likely never be as adept at stretching the boundaries of Shadow Magic as Bakura, but she can give this a try. With the help of an antique-looking telescope, Pepper is at least able to get a general bead on the Makluan rings after identifying Gene as the 'opponent'. She'll take it; she can narrow to his exact location with enough time to search.
The abandoned shack seems a likely hideout, when she spots it. Pepper lands near enough that the sound of the repulsors will announce her presence, but not so close as to spook him (hopefully).
"Gene?" Pepper calls, pulling off her helmet and approaching the shack. "It's Pepper. Are you in there?"
no subject
Go away, leave me alone. You've already left me, anyway. Why are you pretending to care now?
The thought's unbidden, and, he knows, unfair. But he's been out here for a week and the presence of Pepper is making him think, and he doesn't want to think. Thinking hurts.
He almost doesn't answer, like a stubborn child, but the reasonable part of him does realize that she's probably here to help. As brash as she can be sometimes, she's still a good friend.
"Yeah," he croaks, undoing his invisibility. When Pepper comes in, she'll see a mess. He's completely unshaven, which is a new and weird look for someone who tries to keep an eye on his appearance. Depression-stubble doesn't suit him. He's been lying down on the long-abandoned bed, either staring up at the ceiling or at the wall, and his clothes are rumpled.
no subject
At the door, Pepper dismisses the armor and sports only her street clothes when she enters. Her movements are cautious, as though Gene is a skittish animal - which isn't the worst comparison, really. Worry is clear on her face as she takes in his disheveled state, her heart sinking. She'd expected things to be bad, but it's not the same to imagine something and see it in front of you, weighting down your best friend like a cloak of despair. It only reinforces her determination to help him get through this, however long that takes. If their places were reversed, and it was Bakura who had vanished-- well, she'd be a complete wreck, too.
"Hey," she says softly, stepping out of the doorway and towards the bed. The old mattress gives under her weight when she perches on the edge of it next to Gene. She opens her mouth and promptly closes it. There are a thousand things she wants to say and not one of them is quite right.
It's probably too soon for hugs, so Pepper reaches over and lightly rests a hand on Gene's arm. He can pull away if he wants, but at least he'll know she's here for him and she's real and maybe that contact is more important and more comfort than words. Plus, it gives him less to argue with.
no subject
The world that is is a world without Tony.
He takes a deep, shuddering breath, and closes his eyes. He doesn't know what to say, either; he can't say a thing. If he had anything to say it'd be stopped by the fact that his throat was choked up by nothing.
Not nothing - choked up by absence.
no subject
She squeezes his arm gently, and for a while she lets the silence linger. It's a different kind of space for him to have, now that she's removed the distance between them. A wealth of words has gotten her out of tough situations before, but not this time. There are some things that words cannot fix.
Not on their own, anyway. "You don't have to hide from me," Pepper murmurs. "You can, but you don't have to."
["it's quiet uptown" intensifies]
Time, they said, healed all wounds. He's just not sure how it's going to heal this one.
"If I could--" He stopped, too choked up to speak. "If I could have stopped it-- or made it be me instead--"
/sobs
That makes it no less cruel, she knows. The grief remains. As saddened as she is that Tony's gone home, it's Gene's despair that makes her heart tight.
She takes one of his hands between her own. "He's still alive, Gene, and he still loves you. So do I." It doesn't seem fair to remind him that Tony could return. That's hope he may not have the space for now. "You aren't alone anymore. You won't have to go through this alone."
SUFFER
He hangs his head. "How do we know it'll still..." How do we know it'll still be like it was? He can't even finish saying it out loud. Tony could have forgotten. They could all forget, when the Dreaming pushes them back, as it eventually will. And then...they won't love him. He'll be alone. And all these years here will have been for naught.
no subject
"We choose to," she replies simply. The fact is that they don't know for certain, but she's an advocate for what belief can do, especially here. "Because when you care about someone this much, when you're family, you just don't accept anything less. Your value isn't about what you being productive, Gene." Her gaze hardens slightly. "Now I want you to look me in the eye and tell me you believe I wouldn't waste my time and energy on someone who wasn't worth it, because if you can't believe you're important, at least tell me you believe that I believe it."
no subject
"You are," he says, raising his head, "the most stubborn person I've ever met. And considering that we both know Tony, that's saying something."
It's not a direct response to what she'd said, but at least it's progress, of a kind.
no subject
"I hope you're not just noticing that now." Pepper squeezes his hand again. "Because otherwise your powers of observation may need some work." She takes a slow breath and weighs the wisdom of bringing up this invitation now versus later, when Gene may be more settled. "Will you come back to the city with me? Not to the Bridge - we've got a spare room in the townhouse and it's pretty quiet." Not middle-of-nowhere quiet, but definitely less busy than the Bridge. "You can take all the time you need, Gene; it just might be better to do it somewhere..." She glances around at the shack for a moment. "Not here. Not alone."
no subject
The false hope, every time he heard movement, would almost be too much to bear.
Before she could rebut anything, though, he took the chain with his rings off over his head and slid one off. "Take care of this for me," he said, passing it to her.
The pink one. The final ring that would give Gene godlike powers, and the one that he now refused to wear.
"Tony was holding on to it, and I didn't want to leave it, but I shouldn't have it. Not here." I'm not strong enough.
;-;
"You've had it out here this whole time," she points out gently, but still closes her fingers around it to indicate she'll keep it. He is stronger than he thinks he is. Softly: "Do you think it'll get easier to wake up to other people the longer you wait, or harder? I don't think being out here in a hut that's falling apart is good for you, and I know the alternative isn't easy..." Patience. Not always her strong suit. Pepper would just really like to have him home. "Please just think about it?"
no subject
He'd wanted to try and bring Tony back, but what had stopped him from trying was running into the possibility that it might not work at all, and he'd be truly helpless, hopeless.
"I don't know," he says. "It feels safer to be alone." He knows that's a holdover from their time back on Earth, where he's the subject of an international manhunt. "It usually does."
Then he sighs. "I'll think about it. I don't want to be in the way." There's a long silence, and then: "I think I want everyone to just forget about me."