ioduanlogs | July catch-all

Entry tags:

July catch-all

Characters: The Fool + X, Leo
Date: the thread with X is backdated to July 6th; the thread with Leo before the return of the Narrakra.
Location: the Dreaming Bridge; Die Rosa Tulpe
Situation: A catch-all log for the Fool for this month. If you’d like a specific starter, either DM me or ping me on plurk @ ragweed or discord @ middlemarching#9936!
Warnings/Rating: None currently, will update as needed.

I. Life is cruel (closed to X)

The Dreaming sees fit to deliver the Fool’s last vision to him while he is riding the skytrain across the city. He doesn’t remember where he was going; it hardly matters. The visceral wrongness of the vision makes his stomach turn, and with a hand flung over his mouth he stumbles off the train at the first available station. There he slumps against a bench, and waits for the waves of vertigo to recede.

When they do, he discovers that a small throng of concerned on-lookers (and probably a few rubberneckers keen to witness the latest catastrophe to befall the Dreamfolk) have gathered around him. He doubts his weak smiles and words of reassurance truly convince anyone that he is well, but they are evidently convincing enough that the crowd disperses and he is left to find his way out of the train station on his own.

...whereupon he discovers that, rather serendipitously, the train has deposited him near the Bridge. This is enough to remind him of one more person the Dreaming has been unkind to over the past month, and so his course becomes clear.

(The vision will need to wait; there is nothing yet to be done about it anyway--)

When he reaches the door to X’s room, he hesitates a moment before knocking. Perhaps he should have called first.

“X?” he calls out. “Are you at home?”

II. Making ends meet (closed to Leo)

The Fool has a greater appreciation for the work that Klaus put into running Die Rosa Tulpe, especially now that he is not here to keep the doors open.

He is no barista, nor is he any good at making floral arrangements; his eye for art is exemplary, but the art of wood carving is not remotely similar to how best to arrange a floral display. He stands sadly near the drooping blossoms, hair bound back out of his face and a watering can in hand. No. No, this won’t do at all.

Is anyone handling the till? He hasn’t looked up to check.

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Someone was in fact, handling the till. Leo could only thank the fact that he'd actually worked retail jobs in much more hectic environments before, even if he had to learn how to be the manager on the fly. Maybe the 'temporarily under new management' sign helped, but either way, Leo felt like he was going to have an anxiety attack from all the running around he was doing.

The Fool had stepped up to help him, for which he was very grateful, even if he didn't want to trouble his companion. Leo finished counting the money, walking over to where the Fool was worrying about the plants, more than a little frazzled. "Hey. Are you doing okay? Sorry again that this happened..."

At Leo's appearance, and apology, the Fool looks up from his contemplation of the wilting flowers to give his friend a look of wry bemusement. "Do you always apologize for things that are beyond your control?" he inquires, but there's an understanding gentleness in his eyes that should make it clear that he isn't mocking Leo for his habitual apologies.

It is nearing the end of the business day, and the shop is mostly empty, which means there is no one nearby to hear the Fool tell Leo quietly, "I am very sorry about Klaus. I know you were close."

Normally Leo would have a retort ready for the Fool saying something like that, but he was too tired and depressed to try right now. He sighed instead, looking everywhere but in front of him.

"I'm fine. I can't just fall apart if no one is around to help me...I told myself that. Even all the times I got kidnapped. I can't keep relying on everyone." Already he felt like he was intruding on the Fool too much even if the other man lived and worked here.

The more Leo speaks, the deeper the gentle furrow in the Fool's brow becomes. At length he holds up a hand as though to quiet the young man from going on, perplexed.

"How is anyone meant to get by in this world without learning to rely on others? Of course," he adds before he can be interrupted, "we must also learn to be strong for ourselves, but Leo--surely you know by now that you are my friend." He reaches out a slim hand to rest on the young man's shoulder. "You may rely on me."

Leo's face was trying to scrunch up so he wouldn't start breaking down in front of his friend, but it wasn't working very well. God, he still couldn't get over anyone telling HIM they were his friend without prompting.

"I'm always the one getting saved by Libra and Mr. Klaus, and I just wish I could be that reliable. I know Mr. Klaus would say the exact same sorts of things but...what if I'm just being troublesome for everyone?"

Even after seeing everyone rally behind him with the Dr. Gamimotz incident, it was hard to shake years of self hatred. "Sorry. I know I should be over this."

"And what if you are troublesome?"

The question isn't phrased like an accusation; on the contrary, the Fool's mouth has twisted up into a wry sort of smile, and there's a fond glint in his eye. He gestures at himself. "I have spent much of my life a constant source of trouble for those who love me most dearly. Life would be quite dull without a bit of trouble in it."

He squeezes Leo's shoulder before withdrawing his hand. "Please don't apologize," he adds again more gently. "I do not mind."

"My life could use less trouble in it..." Leo mumbled, though he doubted the Fool hailed from a world that was as chaotic as Hellsalem's Lot. He was right in a way, but it was hard to shake the feeling that he just got in the way.

"Maybe because Mr. Klaus isn't here to say how much he likes me, I just get depressed." He almost said sorry again, glancing up at the other man, but closed his mouth. "I want to be one of the people to help rescue them from trouble too."

"I want to be one of the people to help rescue them from trouble too."

In reply, the Fool only smiles again and makes an artless gesture around them with one hand. "We are in a mystical, foreign land beset by its own troubles, worlds away from our homes and what is familiar to us." Dryly, he notes, "I am certain you will have ample opportunity to rescue your friends from trouble."

His hear has certainly caught upon something else that Leo said, though he contemplates for a moment how best to address it; Klaus is gone from Aifaran, after all, and it is unclear when--or if--he will return. At length, he sets the watering can down and sighs.

"Someone... very dear to me was taken by the Dreaming. Someone who understood me more completely than anyone else I have ever met. And in our own world, I am unsure I will ever see him again." He turns to look at Leo and says quietly, "They still care for us, even when they are not here. You mustn't forget that."

X happens to be trawling the network when the Fool knocks, feeling a little more on even keel than he has in weeks; it looks like the periodic visions he's been getting aren't happening just to him, and in fact have nothing to do with him, which makes them less guilt-inducing and more of a mystery to solve. The crew of that missing ship...

But the Fool knocks all of that away for the moment, and X firmly pushes off all the encroaching uncertainty and fear that's coloured his days so often recently. He's X, he's okay, and he has a good friend coming to visit. Those are things he can focus on.

"Yes," he calls back, tucking his yimo away. "It's open!"

The Fool pushes the door open and pokes his head around the edge of it. The sight of his friend in better spirits than he was the last time he had cause to see him in his rooms puts a fond smile on his face. "In that case, I shall not apologize for interrupting," he informs him, then steps into the room. "How are you feeling?"

"You shouldn't apologise for interrupting anyway," X says with a smile. It's a much more genuine smile than the last time they talked, speaking of much more level emotion than before. "It's always good to see you."

And this time, X knows which parts of those feelings are his, and which parts aren't. Which makes for an interesting puzzle, actually; X doesn't know how the Fool feels. Maybe, if he's careful and subtle, he can find out.

"I'm alright," he answers. "I'm more worried about the crew of the Narrakra than myself. Why?" And, with immediate concern: "What brought you here?"

It soothes some of the Fool's lingering anxieties over their last meeting to see that familiar smile on X's face, but does not ease them entirely. He may be a prophet, but he is not clairvoyant; whatever his friend's feelings are, he will step lightly around them, but he will not lie.

The subject of the Narrakra, however, causes his smile to fade, and some of the weary exhaustion that had descended upon him on the train platform returns. He sighs and lifts up a hand to touch the bridge of his nose briefly, before finding a chair in X's room and settling himself down into it. "I had another vision," he says with a slight shake of his head. "The Dreaming has poor timing--I was on the skytrain. I got off at the first available stop and," there, an artless gesture with one hand, "there was the Bridge."

A pause before he quirks another smile. "Since I was in the neighbourhood, I wanted to visit you."

Oh, yes. The visions. It looks like they're having the same effect on the Fool as they are on X, and, well, all the other Dreamfolk too; and it doesn't look like they're going to stop any time soon. "Does that make four?" X asks. "Four visions you've had? With the fourth one rounding back to the first --"

Wait a minute. Pressing issue of the visions aside for a few minutes, X abruptly gives the Fool a considering look. "Me?" he asks, a little uncertain. "No one else?"

He's played a matchmaker before, albeit a little fumblingly. But practice doesn't make being in the thick of things any easier.

Four visions--yes, that number sounds right to the Fool's ears. He is in the process of frowning in thought, responding with a brief nod, "Yes, I believe so," when X asks him that question so abruptly.

"Me? No one else?"

He pauses, bewildered, and does not think anything of his response before answering candidly, "Well yes." A pause, and then with a look of sincere concern creasing his brow, he adds, "After what you have endured, I was worried for you."

It's a touching reply. X is touched. He's also a little worried, and both feelings are fairly obvious in his face. Devin doesn't live in the Bridge anymore, but then again, this might have nothing to do with Devin.

It's -- hard, clarifying the emotions in a relationship when they may not match up. Harder still when looking at the Fool now reminds X of what Valdis saw back in March, trying to walk through his soul. That pain, that desperation, but above all the selfless sacrifice, paving the way to a better world through prior knowledge and no small amount of faith.

"I --" X starts, then changes his mind. "That is, um -- I'm flattered, but I don't..."

Asri. X understands, now, why trying to explain was so difficult for his wife.

"What I said, when you asked me if I was alright," he tries next. "That wasn't... me."

"That is, um -- I'm flattered, but I don't..."

"...Oh." Understanding is quick to dawn on the Fool's face, followed promptly by an apologetic, albeit a slightly awkward laugh as he drops his gaze. He settles his hands together in his lap. "No, that is not what I meant--"

Then X goes on, and his next words leave the Fool sitting in puzzled silence... though somewhere in the back of his mind, he recalls a recent conversation that knocks the first piece of a puzzle loose. "What I said, when you asked me if I was alright... That wasn't... me."

His brows draw together slightly, and he goes rather still. "I am afraid I do not understand," he admits softly, regarding his friend in the silence that follows, willing him to go on.

X sits stunned for a second as his mind catches up on the words he missed, and then he grins. That wasn't what the Fool meant! Good, that's very good, that's one clarification taken care of. Progress has been made.

Then the Fool goes on, and X's smile fades quickly.

"I had... others," he says carefully, "in my mind at the time. I -- I'm sorry, Fool, I can't explain more than that without betraying someone's trust. I just wanted to be sure you knew I wasn't myself."

Even that might be too much, if the Fool makes the connection that it means someone in Aifaran would want to go to dinner with him. But why would he, without further detail? X just has to be careful not to say anything else.

The Fool already has knowledge that at least one other person in Aifaran has complicated feelings for him, so that, at the very least, does not come as a surprise. That X might be aware of those feelings--or aware that someone else has similar feelings for him--is startling.

"I believe you," he is quick to assure his friend with another smile that is... still confused, frankly, but earnest nonetheless. "And I would not ask you to betray anyone's confidence. Not that I expect you are capable of it," he adds, rather teasing but nonetheless affectionate, too. (he's got ur number, X)

He starts to his feet a moment later and gestures to the door. "Shall I treat you to lunch anyway?" he suggests. "Perhaps it would do us both some good to go out into the city and enjoy it for a time."

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July catch-all

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