ioduanlogs | And I would give all this and heaven too

Entry tags:

And I would give all this and heaven too

Characters: Valdis and specific starters with some open
Date: April
Location: Around Aifaran
Situation: Various
Warnings/Rating: in headers

And the heart is hard to translate
It has a language of its own
It talks in tongues and quiet sighs
And prayers and proclamations
In the grand deeds of great men and the smallest of gestures
And short shallow gasps

But with all my education I can't seem to command it
And the words are all escaping, and coming back all damaged
And I would put them back in poetry if I only knew how
I can't seem to understand it

And I would give all this and heaven too
I would give it all if only for a moment
That I could just understand the meaning of the word you see
'Cause I've been scrawling it forever but it never makes sense to me at all

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Immortality. The word was like an ice cube being dropped down his spine, as it always was. It always made him remember that unless he was wrong, being what he was now meant that he would outlive not only his family but all of his friends and everything he ever knew.

She was right. Immortality was cold, lonely, and cruel.

To try and lighten the mood that he knew he'd just brought down, he stroked down her back and mumbled "You know I still don't speak Swedish, right?"

Yes, he knew it was Norse; yes, he was being a shit for the laughs. Mostly because there were things he didn't want to think about right now, and as a creature of immediacy, 'immortality' was top of the list.

She pulled back at the taste of ice against her senses, a fear of something so sharp that the mere mention brought a wall between wish and reality. He recovered quickly, running his hand down her back, trying to live in the moment instead of in fear. One thing she admired about humans. They adapted so quickly, carrying hope that no other race could.

"I still don't care," she breathed, moving in for another kiss, turning and pulling him with her, deeper into his room. "It just means I can whisper anything I like in your ear and you won't know if it is affection or insult."

"I tend to assume insult and hope for affection," he said wryly. "I'm rarely wrong, but frequently surprised."

Miles laughed a little. "So this is why you've been avoiding me?"

"I've only had these emotions once before, Miles," she replied, stepping back and turning away from him, "In all my lives, only once, and it didn't end well. So I hid from the emotions, I tried to kill them, but...I wanted them, and that was terrifying."

She wrapped her arms around herself, "It still is."

Miles' immediate impulse was some kind of sarcastic joke - cool, so should I feel special? - but even he was smart enough to know better than to say that. Instead, he reached out and laid a gentle hand on her arm, the same way he'd done a few minutes before.

"I've learned that you can do two things with fear," he said. "You can let it paralyze you, or let it galvanize you, if you'll let me rhyme. I mean, you've lived a lot longer than me, but I somehow don't think you've spent a lot of it afraid. Not afraid afraid, 'cause I don't think killer-Valkyrie-warrior-princesses have a lot of reason to fear for their lives. But it kind of...I dunno. Boils you down? If you've ever wondered just how much you can survive, fear is the bitch that actually tests you, and either you break or you don't. You can come out the other side held together with spit and duct tape, but you're still held together. And you know what can break you, and what can't.

"So if it didn't end well before - whatever happened, there's scar tissue there now. Proof there was a wound there, and still scary to think about another one, but it's stronger than you think. And I think that you wouldn't be here if you thought that this ending badly could break you - or if it wasn't worth it."

The wisdom coming from him seemed out of place, though Miles did seem like a man who was happy to play the fool, even if he didn't need to. She put her hand on top of his, releasing a low laugh.

"Killer-Valkyrie-warrior-princess," she repeated, "I like the sound of that..."

Valdis turned back, taking his hand in hers, lifting the other to run her fingers through his hair again.

"Though I prefer Queen," she teased.

Edited 2019-04-15 04:40 (UTC)

"Killer-Valkyrie-warrior-queen it is, then," he said, and squeezed her hand. "Doesn't quite roll off the tongue, but I'll come up with something better. You've kind of caught me off my game here." He grinned.

"Good."

It was about time things came together, though she fully admitted she'd been part of the problem. The lack of guilt meant she'd moved on, right?

"I can't wait to hear what you come up with."

"You might have to wait a little," Miles said. "Like I said, you've really thrown me off here. But that's not necessarily bad. I shouldn't get complacent. It's bad for me."

He kissed her on the cheek. "Although I'm sure you like having me all bewitched, bothered, and bewildered."

Somehow, she appreciated those reactions in him more than most people.

“I appreciate your alliteration,” she commented, “And i’m sure it won’t be the last time I do such a thing, I’ve never been called boring.”

She smiled, continuing to play with his hair.

“What are you going to do now that you’re dating a cop?”

"I don't know, probably start wearing collared shirts and sleeping regular hours, eating vegetables...you know, behaving like a reputable member of society," he said, closing his eyes and smiling. He liked having her play with his hair. Actually, it was just nice to be touched, like he meant something to someone. Keeping himself closed off and wary of people was good for keeping him safe, but bad for the need for closeness that he often felt.

"Liar."

Miles was too much of a troublemaker to go on the straight and narrow now, and she wasn't sure she'd appreciate him trying. It would ruin who he was.

"Though you could eat less junk food."

"You'll take these Hot Pockets from my cold, dead hands," he said. "I need my junk food to liiiiive! Do you know how many calories this dumb thing needs?" He knocked on his head with a fist, indicating both himself and the Walrider. At least he was in good humor about it today. Then again, not a whole lot could bring him down right now.

She grabbed the hand he used to tap his head, pulling it down to kiss his knuckles.

"You're an idiot," she teased, "I'm one too, though I'm slightly prettier, so it affects me less."

She just tried to not feed off soul energy, which was the preferred meal of the Void, so even hot pockets were better than that.

Miles blushed when she kissed his knuckles. He was a total sucker for that kind of sappy stuff.

"I am way ahead of you in the Idiot Wars. And you are prettier than me, but at least I'm kind of pretty, so it evens out."

"This is so sickeningly sweet," Valdis scoffed, but her eyes didn't match the tone of her voice, "I never imagined I'd be sucked in to something like this."

She stepped back, not letting go of his hand.

"And I'd afraid I don't really know what happens next."

"That depends," he said. "Do you go in for flowers and chocolate?" Oh, crap, it had been forever since he had dated anyone. And Valdis wasn't like most people anyway. No use trying to guess what she wanted, because guessing was pointless with someone as hard to read as she could be. Besides, it usually made a lot more sense to ask someone what they wanted...like a grown-ass adult.

"I like roses."

Very valentines day, very human. Though she supposed nothing was inherently wrong with acting human. Miles, Pepper and Tony weren't so bad, for humans. She smirked, pulling him around with her as she moved to the couch.

"I'm not human," she reminded him, "And I've never had anything real. Just be real."

"Now, real, that I can do," he said with a winning smile. Miles was many things, but 'fake' could never be one of them.

"Roses it is, then," he declared, letting her drag him...although there wasn't a whole lot of 'letting' involved. "A dozen, and another for luck."

“Is this what the beginning of it is?” She asked, “Because if so, you’re such a fool to fall.”

So was she, but anxieties couldn’t hold her back in this moment. It felt too refreshing, too light, for her to care. Valdis pushed him onto the couch, flipping her hair over her shoulder, moving to sit down, when a white flash raced past her and jumped into Miles’ lap, blocking her. She arched a brow at Anani, then broke into laugher.

"If I had a nickel--" Miles said as she pushed him onto the couch, because honestly, if he had a nickel for every time someone called him foolish or an idiot or anything within that realm, he'd be able to pay off his student loans.

And then: "Oof!"

Miles glared at the cat in his lap, who looked entirely too smug. "Why? Why would you do this?" he lamented, but gave Anani a scratch behind the ear anyway.

Anani purred, licking his lips as if he'd just eaten a particularly delicious fish. The cat twisted, bopping Miles on the hand with a soft paw.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think he disapproves," Valdis commented, slipping onto the couch next to Miles since the cat had taken her spot. She leaned in to kiss him again, but Anani reared up and rubbed his face on Miles cheek. Valdsi sat back, staring at the cat. "Or maybe he actually does."

"What? Am I not charming to this soft boy?" Miles said, and held out his hand for Anani to sniff. "Am I not worthy? Have I not passed the smell test? Come on, little guy, give me a break here!"

Pause.

"Did he follow you?"

"I may feed him, but I don't dictate his day to day activities."

Anani bopped Miles' hand again, still with soft paws. Valdis reached over to stroke the cat, causing him to purr more.

"Come on, Anani," she said softly, "You liked him just fine earlier."

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And I would give all this and heaven too

don't tell him what it means, he'll get a swelled head

It's GoT inspired...I'm such a nerd

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hot pockets have somehow become a joke across all my characters and idk what to do with this

I'm a one trick pony, so I cannot help

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