ioduanlogs | [EVENT] Moon and Mirrors (Welcome Mingle Log)

Devin closed his eyes. A lot had happened in five months, leaving him vulnerable at almost the worst possible time. It would take him time to admit that, to let her know how things had changed. He wasn't ready, either.

Maybe they weren't the best for each other right now. Devin ran a hand over his face, glancing back at her. She would be right - he was asking for her to stick around and be different. Sighing, the vampire turned, studying her for a little while.

"I'm not," he said simply. "I'm pissed off with you and with this place." Which he wouldn't be to this depth if he didn't care. "There's a world of difference between the two. This is a shitty situation; there's no sense in being shitty at each other, too." A beat, and an arched eyebrow. "Told who?"

She'd been here a day and had already managed to piss someone off, that had to be some kind of record. When she looked up, he had turned around, seeming far less furious, though still hurting. Valdis didn't know how to reply, she could deal with strangers, she could be someone else around those who hadn't known her before, but there was no escaping those who had been in Keeliai.

She almost told him that the answer to his question didn't matter. That it had been far too long ago to matter. But in reality, it hadn't, and it did matter, because they had, once again, ended up in the same world.

"Abbadon."

To be fair, Devin was not hard to piss off right now.

His eyebrows rose a little further at her answer. Devin had not actually been privy to that conversation insofar as any detail. For a few breaths, he wasn't sure what to say or how to feel about it. It took longer than it should have to process the depth of what that meant.

She was scared of ruining his trust. She was scared.

"I see." The vampire drew closer, but left some feet between them. "You realize I wouldn't be as angry if I didn't give a damn, right?" And being angry with her did not mean he wanted nothing to do with her any longer. "Do you remember what I told you before I decided to leave Keeliai?" Namely, that Bobby had a way of undoing him.

His silence shouldn't have concerned her as much as it did. She could feel him working through something in that silence, but not knowing where he would end up, caring about where he would end up, made her uncomfortable. Or perhaps her own emotions were muddling her abilities, causing her to project upon him instead of the other way around.

When he spoke again, he seemed even calmer, though the anger still simmered, thankfully it wasn't as sharp. He moved closer, and she didn't move away, he was right, anger often accompanied caring, she'd seen it in people for thousands of years. Valdis had to think back to their last conversation, to everything they had said to one another. She took a breath.

"Something about a redhead who had broken you worse than your family had. You feared facing her again."

Was that what had happened? Had he actually gone back to his world for a time? Had Tu Vishan actually succeeded? If so, did that mean she truly was dead on her world?

Devin nodded. "More or less." This was uncomfortable for both of them. He looked away. "Five months have passed for me since the last time I was here," he explained quietly, shoving his hands into his pockets for lack of anything better to do with them. "She's back. She's killing people because of me, just to get my attention. Dozens of them," Devin said, voice cracking.

He paused, swallowing the lump in his throat. Oddly, talking about Sam and Zaynab and Eleanor and the others was somehow even harder than Bobby's violence. The vampire did not know how. So much of his attention in his life had been on controlling his emotions, in shackling them and yoking them to his will, not being open about them.

"I've been residing with a group of hunters. They've seen my name painted on a burning building full of innocents. If I had any chance of being something else to them, its gone now."

Valdis listened, absorbing the words, the meaning, his emotions. Whoever this woman was, she knew how to get to Devin. If Valdis had been on the hunt for someone, if she still lacked soul, she would do the same. Attacking those who couldn't defend themselves in order to bring your prey to you was an effective method. It made sense, it was logical, and the fact that she knew it could work perhaps said something about her that she didn't wish to confront.

For a brief moment, Valdis wanted to reach out somehow, to reassure him that things would be fine. But nothing she could do would make what happened better in any way.

"Devin," she replied, gaze lifting to watch him, hating everything she felt. "If you mean anything to them, it won't change just because you have a ruthless enemy."

Her enemies would never use such methods, if only because she was too selfish for such methods to work. She'd played that game long enough to not be played by it now.

This was why Devin had a rule about no attachments, and why he had insisted with everyone here that being an entire world away was no guarantee of safety. Even if Bobby never followed him here, he remembered what she had done and threatened to do. Anyone who sheltered him and anyone he cared about - hell, anyone he simply associated with - was at risk.

"It's not that simple," he sighed heavily. He didn't know how to exist like this, balancing on a knife-edge and at a loss of what to do with himself. "Nothing feels stable, not even here."

"I'm pretty sure this place is the definition of unstable," Valdis pointed out, "But if you're worried about her coming here, well, I'm fairly certain that we could take her. After all, I do possess a blade forged by angels."

It might have been a joke, but there was some seriousness to it as well. Valdis didn't know much about this woman aside from the fact that Devin feared her, but death came to all things and she knew how to wield it as a weapon. That had to count for something.

That's not what he meant, and Devin didn't want to explain that he was unstable, that being with the hunters had exposed something without giving him time to adjust and feel comfortable with. Assuming he could feel comfortable. It seemed like someone was holding a flame to his nerve endings.

Devin was fully aware that Valdis would be able to sense when his emotions and his words were working in opposite directions. He offered her a wry smile, cold and fake.

"There is that," he allowed. He was still upset with her, but he could get over it eventually. Probably. "Speaking of which, I still have your dagger."

Subject: changed.

Something near shock flitted through her eyes, and she might have expected anger to follow, but she lacked the energy to even pretend that anger was justified.It felt like a betrayal. He knew it would hurt her to lie like this, to pretend with a smile, because he knew she would see through it. Valdis felt nothing from the Void, not even satisfaction, and she knew the creature well enough to realize that it would bide its time.

And when it did act, the ammunition would hurt.

"I see," she replied, her voice painfully steady, "Well, I pray it serves you better than it did my father."

~~Someone needs to sit them down and make them talk like grownups.~~

That did not look like it had the intended effect, but he wasn't in any fit state to dive back in and find out why. Still, she... wasn't calling him on it, which was something. There was no satisfaction in this, nor even relief. All it gave him was a little more time to rebuild his walls. Devin was a mess, really, though he wouldn't admit it aloud.

"I'd rather it not have to," Devin said honestly. He didn't want to raise a blade against her unless it was for sport. "But I was surprised to still have it, seeing as I apparently didn't stay in the Dreaming." If there was meaning there, he wasn't sure what to make of it.

"Perhaps the Dreaming knew you might need it."

There couldn't really be another answer.

"Do you remember when I told you I once sought to destroy every life in Keeliai?" She asked, her gaze dropping to the ground again, her fingers tightening against her arms, "I had just lost the man I loved, and I was trying to force Raine to destroy me. It was irrational, an incident born of grief at the loss of something I had never experienced before. I swore I would never let my emotions get the better of me in that manner again."

Or the Dreaming just kept track of his inventory when he left ~~it kept his save point~~, or something similarly inscrutable.

"Yes, I remember," he confirmed. Devin wasn't sure where she was going with this, although her explanation clarified more about why she would do such a thing. It didn't surprise him. After killing his parents, those first few years had practically been rage-fueled blurs, and after Bobby-- it had changed him irreversibly once more.

"It's hard to know how a person reacts to something they've never experienced," Devin added, as though to say there was no way she could predict lashing out.

"Perhaps."

Yet that wasn't even close to the point.

"I once said I preferred not to lie to you," she continued, not yet meeting his gaze, "I'm not going to change that now."

Valdis took a breath, then another. Steadying herself, steeling her mind and pushing away anything else she felt. Then she looked up, completely calm, her eyes not quite cold, and when she spoke, her tone was soft, unwavering.

"The next time I desire destruction," she began. "be assured it will be cold, calculated, and I won't give you another option."

Anton had saved her once, but she hadn't truly wanted to die. Her pain had simply been so immense she couldn't see how she could survive. She knew without a doubt that she was capable of the exact same atrocities that woman in Devin's world was. The difference being that she hoped it would never come to that.

Well, at least she was blunt about it. Devin studied her silently, assessing the contrast between her eyes and her tone. He lacked the benefit of empathy, but he was observant. She meant what she was saying, and it had a different flavor than the pact they had struck before. It had the flavor of a warning. That did not sit well.

If you won't give me another option, I'll just have to take it.

"Then I will do what I have to," Devin replied, truthful. He could still kill her if it came to that, even in this state. However, that did not preclude taking action before it reached that point, to drag her back from the brink kicking and screaming if need be. "Although I can say with some certainty that I will not be the only one who would not want you driven to that."

How heartless, came the soft hiss, Not even a moment of hesitation...Unfortunately for you, little angel, we won't allow such a thing. You cannot die until we are complete.

Valdis shuddered. It felt as if coils were tightening around her consciousness, tightly enough that drawing breath was difficult. How long had it taken for the Void to awake when she had first arrived in Keeliai? It seemed that the creature would never return to sleep. That hope had died when she woke up here.

She laughed, the sound breathless, "You say that as if you think I care."

Except she did, perhaps too much, and she was certain he knew that. She had been here a day, and everything was already going to hell.

Devin tilted his head slightly, silent again for a little while. Thrown back into turmoil, she'd said. Whether that meant having gone home or something else entirely didn't matter. It had already been obvious that they were both off-kilter.

For a fleeting moment, the concern was evident on his face. He could be angry and still care. He could want to embrace her in reassurance, and yet recoiled at how exposed that made him feel by the thought alone. A human instinct grappling with the atrophy and scars of a lifetime of distance.

"I don't have to think it; I know it," he returned. "But even if I did not, you were the one who told me that we do not have a choice in how others feel about us. People will care, no matter how cold and calculating you may be. They will remember. I will remember. Foreigners or Dreamfolk, whatever you call them, have a tendency to be annoying stubborn about these things."

His expression hardened into determination. "The next time you desire destruction, be assured that you will not have to contend only with me." The ferocity with which her friends would try to save her was, perhaps, a greater weapon than any sword Devin could bring to bear. "Do not do those people a disservice by pretending they won't."

How dare he throw her own logic back at her? True as it was, Valdis still didn't want to hear it. His concern, still mixed with anger and that ever present restraint, couldn't have been more evident if he voiced it aloud. It was on his face, for however short a moment, in his essence, in how he spoke. It was dangerous. He was dangerous.

The Void didn't loosen its grip, and a low, consistent hiss filled her head.

"There is no pretense." She knew they cared, she knew they would try. "But we don't even know how many of them are here, or if any of them are here."

Which was what the Void had been hoping for. A new start. A new opportunity. A place where those friends couldn't interfere. That realization was both a relief and a new fear.

The Void coiled more tightly, the hissing drowning out anything else she might have thought or felt.

***

The low hiss, soft at first, gained in intensity as the Void reached out. It was time to address this particular threat directly.

"I saw others from Keeliai at the Dreaming Bridge," he countered. "And like I said, annoyingly stubborn. More than a few of the people we know don't consider being in different realities an insurmountable barrier. Lack of pretense isn't much of one, either."

He'd be quite surprised if somehow he was the only one here who had befriended Valdis, and had more than a little certainty that there would be others. And in all likelihood, she would make new friends here whether she liked it or not. The Dreaming, after all, had a type.

***

Devin had tried to shake off the noise, but his mental defenses were not designed with this in mind.

I don't recall inviting you to speak with me, he snarled.

Others? Valdis again didn't know if that was a relief or not, but she couldn't exactly find the energy to decide. But if Pepper were here, or Jackie...she hadn't actually looked, hadn't bothered to check the room assignments. But if they were here, then she couldn't self destruct. It would hurt them and she couldn't bear that.

A reply escaped her, so she stood silent. They had been through Keeliai together, the Void wasn't stronger than all of them. Perhaps that was what it was afraid of.

***

We are rarely invited anywhere. The Void replied, though it didn't sound amused, Besides, you will want to hear what we have to say.

Well, at least he had given her something to think about.

There were slightly more pressing concerns at the moment. If she wasn't aware already, she ought to know: "Your hanger-on wants to have a chat with me for some reason."

***

I somehow doubt that, but you're going to tell me regardless of what I want, Devin shot back.

Already making mistakes, aren't you? The serpent hissed, not bothering to hide its displeasure.

***

Her eyes widened at Devin's words. The last thing she needed was the parasite to present itself so willingly. She wished she had thought to bring Revelations. The light of the sword seemed to help keep the Void at bay, or at least less willing to interfere. It has been stupid to leave it behind.

"It's..." Afraid, but she couldn't get the words out before the world went dark.

Devin cursed under his breath and closed the distance between them to catch Valdis before she hit the ground. He considered if he would need to carry her, and for now decided to settle her against the building since the ground was fairly clean.

She had a pulse, at least.

***

I think that would be you, but now that you've thrown a tantrum at the expense of your host, speak and then leave, Devin thought nastily.

Don't worry, all will be well if you listen.

The serpent hummed, suddenly amused with itself.

We know how to break you, it purred. You will break as anyone who foolishly cares for others will break. We might not be able to hurt you directly, but your presence will cause suffering. So stay away.

The Void withdrew more suddenly than it had come, retreating back into the depths.

***

Valdis took a sharp breath that turned into a string of swear words, but she didn't open her eyes yet, or move away from the wall.

"I am so done with that thing."

The Void didn't give Devin time to make a retort, but even if it had, he knew the creature wouldn't listen to him. The warning in fact served the opposite purpose: rather than drive him away, it told Devin that he was a threat of some kind. If nothing else, the Void had made a petulant move.

It had to say something that Devin was far less afraid of what the Void could do than what had already started to happen to him at home.

"I don't doubt that," he said, thankful that the snake had released Valdis quickly. He sat back on his heels. "Are you alright?"

[EVENT] Moon and Mirrors (Welcome Mingle Log)

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