A Good For Nothin' Louse

[shivvymetimbers]

Characters: Captain Bastien & Whomever joins him! (Open)
Date: All throughout May
Location: Random locations in Aifaran
Situation: Doing what pirates do best? Looting & pillaging! Causing trouble!
Warnings/Rating: PG-14, mentions of blood, nudity & crime


I. ᴛʀᴀᴘᴘᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴀ ɴᴇᴛ

"Help!"

A shrill cry shatters the fragile peace of the bay once poor Bastien got caught in that net. He forgo his pirate ways today in order to enjoy a soothing dip in the sea. It's been awhile since Bastien gotten to enjoy life as a merman. For too long he pretended to be human and even longer so spent too many days on land. He was itching for the chance to spread his fins. However, Bastien ended up getting trapped within this fishing net all thanks to his gluttony.

"Help me! Help me, please!" He yells pathetically while trying to break free. A faint trickle of blood slithers in between his turquoise scales as he keeps trashing about in the water. That absurdly long hair of his is tangled within the net too. The more he moves, the tighter the net becomes. This must belong to a commercial fisherman since its meant to gather a large quantity of fish. Too bad for Bastien that the net circled around him when he attempted to steal a tasty trout.

"HELLPPPPPPP!!!"


----


II. ʀᴇᴀᴄʜ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ sᴋɪᴇs

It all happens so fast!

One moment you're walking down the street minding your own business browsing the wares and the next you're getting yanked by the arm into a nearby alleyway. It happens too fast. There's barely a moment to catch your breath before some bloke armed with a sword presses the blade against your neck. "Move and I'll run you through!" Bastien growls menacingly as he grips the hilt of his blade. If you're a fan of swords or even a historian, you might notice that the sword in question is a French rapier hailing from the 18th century. If not? It's just a fancy sword, a little too fancy for this pretty boy pirate. Maybe he stole it from someone?

Well, that's a story for another day.

"Empty your pockets, mate." Bastien smirks impishly as he steps back a little. That fancy sword of his is still awfully close to your neck. "I want all your valuables and then some. Either part with them now or part with them in death."

The pirate states in a rather arrogant tone.

"Your choice."


----

III. ʏᴇ ᴏʟᴅᴇ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀɪɴɢ ʜᴏʟᴇ

You know, sometimes a refreshing glass of wine is needed.

Sipping on a glass of red as the evening rolls in isn't a bad idea if done at home. There's a special place in hell for boozers who bring wine into a quaint little café like this. Blame the "Fool" for introducing Die Rosa Tulpe to Bastien. The pirate visited once before and fell in love with it. That explains why he's using this café as his own personal den as he tries to recruit a new gang while enjoying his wine.

"You, boy." He gestures to some fella who was just wandering past. Just another patron. "Want to make some riches, lad?" Bastien asks as he tilts his tricorn hat to the side in a failed attempt to look threatening. "If you got the stones for it, a pirate's life is the way to go." He suggests with a chuckle as he sips his wine. The Frenchman takes a moment to enjoy the sweet aftertaste of this brilliant brew before landing his offer. Wine as good as this must be savored slowly.

"I'm lookin' for a new crew, lad. Care to join?"

Comments

[iseeall]

Leo started to think that maybe confrontation was a bad idea around the time Bastien's facial expression changed, and the grabbing at the collar certainly cemented that. Leo was worried about the potential trouble he'd cause for everyone else in the cafe, but the instant the pirate grabbed at him, Valdis' training kicked in and he was grabbing at and hopefully twisting the man's arm, attempting to drive him back into the table.

"Don't manhandle me, you drunk bastard!!" Leo yelled, just in case the ruckus wasn't obvious enough yet.

[shivvymetimbers]

Drunk bastard?! But he's not even drunk! Maybe pleasantly buzzed but definitely not drunk enough yet. Although, none of that seems to matter once that brat catches him off guard. "Hey---Ow!" Bastien hisses when that little twerp twists his arm behind him.

"Lemme go, dammit!" The pirate trashes violently as he tries to yank his pistol off his belt with his free hand. "I'll shoot you full of holes, I swear!" He tries to aim the gun at the boy but the angle is off when he shoots. Instead of killing anyone, he shatters the window.

[purered]

The gunshot sent the customers scattering and the employees ducking for cover.

Klaus had been in the greenhouse when he heard the shot, and barreled full speed into the cafe. The cute green apron with a little yellow chick and a pink tulip did very little to lessen the looming, 300 pound monstrosity that was an angry Klaus Von Reinherz. Aifaran had not softened his instincts in any respect - it took him only a moment to see where the source of the commotion was, and what he saw made his blood run cold.

Leo was in trouble and the man at the table had a gun.

Deescalation was normally the rule of the day, but Klaus was a bit stupid when it came to Leo's safety, and so Klaus didn't even say a word. It was straight to using his blood arts.

The macabre cross made from solid blood seemed to erupt upwards from the ground towards the gun in an effort to disarm the pirate, while Klaus moved forward, reaching for Leo.

[iseeall]

"Jesus fuck," was all Leo managed to say as the gun fired past him. He legit thought this guy was a cosplayer and the gun was real? Leo turned around to frantically wave out any other patrons who hadn't already (wisely) fled, and turned back only to see Klaus there and using his blood arts.

"Klaus, what are you doing?? He yelled, jumping behind his boss because to be honest, he was kind of scared of bullets. "You'll kill him like that!"

[shivvymetimbers]

"Mon dieu." A hint of surprise escapes Bastien once the shot goes off. He expected the powder to still be wet thanks to earlier but it's apparently dry. The pirate lingers there for a moment moderately stunned before snapping out of it. "See, brat! That could've been your head---" He trails off suddenly when some red creepy looking cross appears out of thin air.

Bastien let's out a terrified gasp once the bloody cross knocks his pistol out of his hand. Without thinking, Bastien staggers backwards and draws his sword. "What in the blazes was that?!" He yells once some enormous looking fella storms over.

"Oh my god." He mutters this time in English as the big man yanks the boy back. "It's a giant! A bonafide giant!" Did the kid summon this monster?! Seems like it.

[purered]

With the gun on the floor and Leo safe behind his bulk, Klaus was no longer on the verge of bursting several blood vessels and could actually think a little more rationally.

With a wave of his hand, the blood incantation was dissipated and the cross vanished, leaving only a red smear where it had been.

"What on earth do you think you were doing, firing your weapon in a crowded place?" Klaus demanded, his tone surprisingly level, even if his expression was clearly livid.

With the threat at least somewhat contained, Klaus looked around the shop for any signs of someone needing immediate medical attention - fortunately it seemed the worst of the damage had been to a window, and people had just been scared out their wits.

"Leonardo, were you hurt?" Klaus asked. There were no signs of blood, but the two had been scuffling when the shot had gone off, and Klaus was nothing if not predictable.

[iseeall]

"No, I'm fine," Leo's voice may have been slightly muffled by the entirety of Klaus' body, but he really didn't look any worse for wear than he had at the start of the day.

"Goddammit, I just thought it was a costume." He peeked his head out, glaring at Bastien with closed eyes. "I just fucking asked you not to cause trouble and your first response is to try and murder me? What the hell is wrong with you? Is this normal?"

[shivvymetimbers]

Bastien backs slowly once the big man focus on him. "Hey, hey! I wasn't aware that the gunpowder was dry!" He quickly explains. "I just wanted to scare the bloke. He attacked me, ya know." That's obviously a lie since Bastien was the aggressor here but still, Leo had no business grabbing him like that.

"Shut up!" Bastien yells as he waves his fist at the little punk behind the giant. "I'm a pirate, you arse. What did you expect?" He sheathes his sword since he's not interested in escalating things. Besides, he's not about to fight a bloody damn giant. The hell with that.

"I was mindin' my own business, sirs! Just recruitin' for a new crew."

[purered]

"...Just recruiting...-?"

Klaus buried his his face in his hand as the two had their little tit-for-tat. It was all a little too familiar, although Bastien didn't seem quite as explosive as Zapp.

Which probably said more about Zapp than Klaus would ever want to admit, given this pirate had nearly shot Leo.

Klaus took a deep breath through his nose, summoning his almost limitless patience.

"Enough, the both of you," he finally said. "Pirate or no, this isn't the place for recruiting."

And because Klaus was... well, ...Klaus and the instinct to help seemed to trample every other bit of god-given common sense, he said;

"There's a pub down the boardwalk that would probably be better for that sort of thing."

How did he know this? ...It's probably best not to ask.

[iseeall]

"Attack you? I did not and you know that! Stop trying to frame me, you incompetent turd-" Leo cut himself off when Klaus said enough. He was horrified at the fact he'd caused Klaus to come out with guns roaring, but this man was pushing on every last nerve of his.

"You should probably make him at least pay for the window since that was his fault," Leo suggested hoping this time Klaus would agree.

[shivvymetimbers]

Bastien stares up at the giant in surprise once he mentions the pub. "There is?" He questions looking a tad surprised. "Is it just some hole in the wall? Cause I didn't see---" He trails off suddenly once the midget suggests that he should pay for damages.

"With what frickin' money, you donkey?!" The pirate shouts with his eyes as wide as saucers. "I barely have a bleedin' coin to my name! Besides this not my fault!" Bastien shouts as he stomps his foot in anger.

"You pay for it!"

[purered]

He missed this. Or thought he did. Despite his prim and proper demeanor, Klaus had a very high tolerance for chaos. You had to when you spent nearly the decade of your life hunting vampires or living in Jerusalem's Lot. You either learned to be flexible about these sorts of things, or you broke.

That being said, it meant that Klaus's opinion of firing a loaded pistol in a cafe warranted a rather less severe punishment than what most people would deem appropriate. Like jail time.

Klaus pinched the bridge of his nose as he took a deep breath. Leo was safe, and no one else was hurt. There was a broken window, but the cafe had been doing well enough that he could easily take the cost of repairs out of his own salary.

"Enough, the both of you," he repeated, resting a hand on Leo's shoulder, both to reassure him and keep him from charging Bastien.

"If you don't have the money to pay for it, you can spend the afternoon washing dishes," he said sternly, picking up the dropped pistol.

"I'll return this to you at the end of the shift."